{L0VE iS iN A B0X.!}*

 Actually i have a lot without posting here.. because i find it idiotic to post things no one will read.. but who cares.. i need to write.

So... I said something i shouldnt have said, i think, and now my 'best friend' is mad at me. Thing is, i dun see how can her behavior resemble at all the behavior of a best friend. A selfish and self-centered person, that is an organization and studying freak, and a complete jevito that overreacts and exaggerates everything is telling me im a tattle-teller and that i cant keep a secret she CLEARLY didnt specify to be a secret. so yeah, im been a despicable hypocrite and a really ''lousy'' friend right now, but i dun care.. because throughout this year she was not there for me when i needed her the most. 

i really really feel sad and irritated. confused is over some other matters, that are not that problematic to me but that i insist in making them look bigger to me and i seem to be happy with suffering. SO LETS SUFFER.! i wonder why do i like to make myself go through this. 
bottom line of the situation.. if shes not my friend, then i will be alone and all the going out is over... ill stick to the guys and be bullied every single day -_-;. but just like ppl say, no one is irreplaceable so i think ill be just fine. right?and who do i receive support from? the person she hates the most. (and he hates her for what shes done to me). and not so much help anyways .. but im thankful. and i have a very precious friend to me even if she is far away. in fact three precious friends now that i count well..

life will never be as i remember but im sorry, i loath people like you.. and ur getting me to my limits. i dun even wanna talk back to you cause you know me when i talk, i cut with my words and that is certainly not good. so i write instead. 

you are a peaceful person, adrie, a peaceful person. believe it, and dont rip her head and her tongue out. 

and i have just discovered im jealous of her too.. i helped her create a perfect live, sacrificing myself too.. WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THAT ALWAYS! i have to think more about myself... your welcomed. being jealous is not fine, but in situations like this acceptable. specially when everything turns bad for yourself. its just as if luck runs away at the slightest sight of my face. >_>; i didnt think i was so ugly. 

but its okay.. i am strong i believe. and i have proved that to myself throughout these years with so many unfortunate events occurring to me. this is a piece of strawberry cheesecake. (: right?

though u might wanna sleep with a gun under your pillow, just in case i go berserk. ^_^ 

Her birthday is tomorrow. And I didn't know what the hell I was going to give her. So, like I am an internet-holic, I went online to hunt some ideas for my card. I found this idea in Paper Trufflez, a website I just love. Click here to see the idea. I hope my bestie likes it. I spent the whole morning doing this cause today I had no school. xD I heart Teacher's Work Days.! I had several problems, like the fact that I already used up all my scrapbooking paper, (yes, I'm poor. I can't buy any more; they're not cheap.) I used watercolors to color the whole thing, and a paper I found that's pretty hard. =D

Here:





Alsoo.... I was so bored I decided to take pictures to my room and show 'em to you guys... Maybe you can get some ideas for your room. xD If you want, you can also share your pics, that'd be fun.

My desk>>


My Bed>> uff i love the purple cushioon..!


Some disks I have on the wall..>>


Some diskettes... i HAD to recycle..


Andd... my bulletin board. that has nothing of bulletin board XD



I was thinking yesterday.. maybe I should start webdesigning again. I used to own this website... Funkify.info. I closed it because I got tired, and I received no visitors. Yeah, the same story always. Maybe I'll open it again... or maybe I'll post stuff in this journal. I dun know. I feel creative today. xD

His piercing and intense gaze keeps me prisioner. It emprisions my thoughts and grasps my deepest doubts. His dark eyes are like hard stones sinking into my deep seas, knowing ever corner of its darkest waters.

His delicate grip to my wrist, as if I were fragile , crystal-made, makes me shiver and relax. And I gawk into his eyes, his expression unreadable to me. Its like our own crystal bubble. As if time stops for us.

I can only hear his breathing and sense his intensity.

I can only feel how he absorbs me, slowly, painfully.

For I only know this is just a mere game for him and I am his next prey. And I also only know I am falling, confused and perplex, into his absurd and damn enchantment.

The deer fell in love with the hunter. The fish fell in love with the whale. The log fell in love with the burning fire.

So here I stand, over a thin layer of ice, which keeps a dark abyss and me apart. I can only glance at the neverending ice surrounding me. There is only mountains far, far away. I feel lost, yet found; loved, yet forgotten; saved, yet endagered.

I find myself wishing what I might never have. What only exists in fairytales and my imagination. Inside my little world. I am wishing for something that does not exist, impossible. For magic. For love. Things we are not supposed to long because at the end, we will just break that thin layer of ice with the load of disappointment and despair on our shoulders, and fall, eternally.

Fall and never hit the ground.

But I dance still, at the rythm of my dreamy and enchanted heartbeat over it, over the thread. With endless hope, with a reason to breath. Closing my eyes to feel the warmth of the distant sun on my face and the cold winds from the mountains brush, sharp as a knife, my dancing body. Just like a child enyoing the first snowfall of November. Closing my eyes; locking my fears away.

Not falling. Not burning. Not dropping. Not giving up.

It may not be his piercing dark eyes, his gentle touch, his intoxicating smell that will take me away, take me away from the coldness and stillness of this real world, but some other which I will wait forever for. Dreaming. Swirling. Always confused. Always clear. Even if that he doesn't ever come.

No one will break me.

No one will tear me apart.

I will still enjoy every heartbeat, every step foward; foward to where the sun sets. Until i reach that light and warmth I have longed for so long. That escape. Those my heart crave for so acutely. It shouts, it yells, it screams. Locked and lost in the midst of unending darkness, of unending coldness.

Anger. Frustration. Despair. Hope.

Hope that cries out to me. Hope in which I will rely. Hope that glows, faintly, far away.

But is still there.

Exists. ♥

''°* [I pray that my tears would reach to you] °*

dun rlly care... =/ its nonsense. ewk.

hello everyone!  um. im not quite sure what should i write here... but, ill babble anyways. ive got nothing else to do.

Im currently watching Full Moon wo Sagashite. Its sooo excitiing!! I rlly cant wait to see if she dies or not.. She CANT!  i mean, shes got what she wanted and its not fair for it to end like that. (Y_Y) im 50% sure she'll make it!! Muahaha. I just dun get what Izumi-kun is up to. (o.O)

Ugh. I wanted to go to this concert of Juan Luis Guerra, not some one you would know..., <_< but the tickets are all sold.
STOP BUYING TICKETSS!!! :@:@
so... for valentines i guess im gonna do a little something here at my house. ♥
(-_-;) for those of us who are slow at buying tickets. i guess my gang will come over. hopefully none of them will run away..

WAHHHH my mom's driving me crazyy.. *covers ears* she comes every few minutes to remember me about this cd she wants me to get her.. im just sooo lazyy... (z_z) she would come and stand in my door and sing a piece of one of the songs.. with this lookk.. *shivers* ima buy her a laptop <___<

BtW!
i started japanese classes two weekends ago, and im going pretty well.. i already know the full hiragana and a few words. Im dying to get to the grammar partt.. \(^o\) (/o^)/

<33333333333333333
Adriee-chann. *kissess!!*